i’m older now

Quarter of a century.  This might sound a bit too cliche but i still have to say that time flies so fast.  I can still remember when i was in elementary school and mama won’t let us watch TV on schoolnights so whenever  i’d miss Campus Romance on GMA 7, i’ll just lie down in bed thinking up my own plots and pairing up my favorite TV stars and watch the episode in my head.Then i’ll fall asleep thinking ‘yeah right’. Fast forard to 2005, i am working at the biggest TV network in the Philippines and my childhood hobby is actually my real job. And just thinking about it now, i just shake my head because that was 3 years ago and i am now in the middle east with a totally different life. 

25 is old. That is according to my 15 year old mind 10 years ago. A couple of months back, it started to dawn on me that the answer to the question "how do you see yourself 10 years from now" which was always asked in highschool and in college entrance exams  is actually the present. This is assessment time. I realized that I’ve done a lot, I’ve been through a lot of things people i meet now say ‘really?’

Then, I ask myself about my life now. I’m happy. I don’t like any contradictions. I feel good now whenever i do something good for other people. Like good karma. I now know that being a good friend does not neessarily mean saying yes to everything. It’s my life too so I also count.It means accepting that some friends are simply the way they are. it does not help to pretend that they are otherwise. I still feel upset though whenever i get disappointed and other people just make it their business to make lives messier. 

 Reiz told me a few days back that i sound so mature  like I think differently. Well i guess i have always been this way but now my age caught up with my brain and everything fell into place to make everything seem  right ( i hope that makes sense). i don’t want to struggle anymore with senseless things that do not benefit anyone. i just want to live my life and be happy.I’m older now… it’s time for me to just savor the experience and face life with my head up.

paramdummm

i got a message today in Friendster- a message that is a part of my past back in Manila. It was not that surprising because my birthday is coming up and this person just kinda pops up whenever there’s an occassion. Got the same message last Christmas, new year and valentines, so it may be a routine for this chap.  I chose not to reply because i have a new life and i did not want past memories to drag on. I have to admit that receiving those messages at that time still makes me wonder - whatthahell? But now as i am writing this post , with my boyfriend just sitting here beside me, i felt totally at peace. i felt nothing but just wishing that this person will be happy with life as i am. I am not saying my life is perfect, it is also a rollercoaster ride but everyday, i am learning and i feel thankful that i found the person who will always be just there for me., no matter what.

feeling a bit patriotic

In a city where seeing a Ferrari being stuck in traffic is a common thing, it is surprising that in some aspects, Dubai still lacks the maturity expected of a global hotspot.  This may sound too demanding but living in the city for roughly 9 months, i still can’t help but notice that there are times when Manila can be lots more sophisticated than this rich city. 

It is not actually the city itself, because the way the government run the place is applaudable. The laws are pretty firm, the development of the city is enviable and jobs are aplenty. It’s the people–what I noticed is that people are way more relaxed in this fast paced city as if things are not really taken seriously. This is surprising because people from all over the world go here to work and earn loads of money so you would actually expect a level of talent, skill and professionalism  that would match the sky high salaries. But at the end of the day, that is not the case. What you see is good looking , fast talking westerners way up there ruling the corporate ‘desert’ while the much more adept asians earning much lower do all the dirty work and most often than not, dumb themselves up a little because they know that even if they fight hard enough, they can never win in this racist game 99 percent of the time. so why waste the effort right?

Maybe this is why we see mediocrity being pushed to reality. i am not talking about the Burj or the Dubai Mall because those projects are of course exceptional. What i am talking about are the small things we see everyday in our work, in our home and wherever we go. I am talking about the crappy real estate ads we see everyday in Gulf News (like a building comparing itself to a fresh scent of a flower, whattha!?*&%#$%^) or maybe the bad service we get from clueless blondies in 5 star hotels, or that very rude customer service agent who’s supposed to help you do your phonebanking, or that totally unforgivable fuckup by the supposedly very good music company in a big public do, irritating things like taxi shortage and taxi discrimination or the traffic in the International City entrance because there is a single Uturn available for everyone in all 387 buildings! … the list can go on and on.All of this is a reflection of the quality of work people in Dubai are actually delivering. Is it because since the money is available and more or less disposable, company owners take for granted that they can get better work force than what they currently have? Or maybe it’s because the talented people don’t really exert  effort because no one really expects them to? 

 It saddens me sometimes because here you can compare and see that Filipinos have a lot of potential. I can’t help but think  what would happen if the philippines would have the resources to make something out of our little country…just imagine what we can all do. What if we take away all the graft and political bullshit? Maybe our claim to fame would not be charice pempengco but something bigger. But that is of course wishful what ifs. So maybe we can do the next best thing. take over. thanks to Aga Muhlach, and Claudine Baretto- Dubai has actually become one of the top destinations for Filipino professionals . Dubai is fast becoming the overseas solution for people like us who were not that gifted to manage a nursing degree but still dream of getting a better job out of the Philippines.Hmmm, as more and more Filipinos flock to Dubai, excuse the patriotism, but maybe we  can actually help make this place a better one. 

missing flat

After many weeks of stress, late nights and hard work, our client’s big event is finally over. We were all dressed up last night to attend the the launch at the posh ballroom of the Jumeirah Beach hotel. It was a stand up thing with drinks and canapes being offered around. Even if there were glitches caused by the events company, it was all in all alright. tel and i were hungry though, because strangely enough, we did not see half of what’s supposed to be served in the canapes menu (we know because we did the food tasting!). We made up for the lack of food by filling ourselves with virgin pina coladas and coca cola. 

 One funny moment though was when one of the client did not recognize me. Imagine, I can be one of their part-time employees already if you count the time I’m spending with that account , hehe. Well, maybe because I was not in my usual office get-up and i snuck out of the office at 4:30 pm to get my hair blow-dried for a ridiculous sum of 100dhs! but it was worth it, at least , my hair was tame during the photo ops! 

Too sleepy after the event, i got into a taxi and got home at around half past ten. I entered the building, got into the elevator and smiled at the chinese girl in there. It’s good to be friendly with neighbors, especially those seen for the first time. I got out of my floor and walked to the door of our flat. When i was about to open the door with my key, i realized that it was not my door, and to my horror, the door of my flat was missing! it felt really creepy because it’s like my flat disappeared and everything was different in that corridor.  It did not help that i was doing a HEROES marathon during the past couple of days! I paced the corridor, closed and opened my eyes but still, the doors  and flat numbers are all mixed up. It cannot be that i’m in the wrong floor because the flat numbers are correct, they were just in a mixed up position. After a few minutes , i went to the elevator thinking to go down first and then return to see if maybe i was drunk or something and i just needed to clear my head.So i went down but when i reached the ground floor i realized my mistake. i was in the wrong building! I am 2 buildings away! maybe because the buildings look the same, and because i was sleepy and just came out of the taxi and did the routine walk to my flat, i did not realize that the taxi stopped in front of the wrong building. 

It was bothering but in the end i just had a good laugh over my twisted stupidity. Hmm, maybe i should sleep more.